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Fintan
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Joined: 18 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 6:43 am Post subject: The NWO's Police State UK Is Dead |
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| Quote: | Freedom Bill Unlocks UK Civil Liberties
Main Points:
- The scrapping of ID card scheme,
the National Identity register, the
next generation of biometric passports
and the Contact Point Database.
- Outlawing the finger-printing of children at school without parental permission.
- The extension of the scope of the Freedom of Information Act to provide greater transparency.
- Adopting the protections of the Scottish model for the DNA database.
- The protection of historic freedoms through the defence of trial by jury.
- The restoration of rights to non-violent protest.
- The review of libel laws to protect freedom of speech.
- Safeguards against the misuse of anti-terrorism legislation.
- Further regulation of CCTV.
- Ending of storage of internet and email records without good reason.
- A new mechanism to prevent the proliferation of unnecessary new criminal offences. |
Even before the UK election it was clear that as the Liberal Party were
likely to be kingmakers in some kind of coalition, and that the price of
their support would include rollback of NWO attacks on civil liberties.
Amazingly, when the Liberals were exploring coalition with Labour,
the Labour negotiators were insisting on retaining these measures.
Then the doomed Lib/Lab bid failed, and the Con/Lib pact emerged.
And because these repressive NWO measures are hated by all Liberal
party members and most Conservative party members alike, this is a
100% done deal.
The NWO's Police State UK Is Dead.
Time to Take this Battle to the USA!
Here's the context on the scope of that rollback.
| Quote: | This morning the new Liberal Democrat / Conservative coalition government of the UK, headed by David Cameron as Prime Minister, have announced a "major programme of civil liberties".....
This is great news for civil liberties campaigners. Personally, although my politics are rather to the left of either Lib Dems or Tories, I'm delighted to see baby steps towards consensus politics in the UK. No compromise can please everyone, but it should provide concessions to both sides. It is inevitable that the Lib Dems will make more concessions than the Tories, the latter having a greater electoral mandate; I think anger that the Lib Dems have "sold out" is misguided. Let's hope that this move towards a more mature, sophisticated politics of negotiation continues.
The Register describes how the Tory / Lib Dem compromise has resulted in a "best of both worlds" situation on biometric passports:
Both parties went into the election committed to scrapping ID cards and the NIR, and though the LibDems were the only major UK party to pledge to add biometric passport enhancements (adding fingerprints, and possibly other weird stuff if you believe Meg Hillier) to the bonfire, the UK has no international obligation to deliver a second-generation passport. They would have been a tempting and easy cut for the Tories if they'd been able to govern on their own.
So far so good. The website for the Home Office Identity and Passport Service reports that the "how" of scrapping ID cards will be announced in due course:
Both Parties that now form the new Government stated in their manifestos that they will cancel Identity Cards and the National Identity Register. We will announce in due course how this will be achieved. Applications can continue to be made for ID cards but we would advise anyone thinking of applying to wait for further announcements.
Until Parliament agrees otherwise, identity cards remain valid and as such can still be used as an identity document and for travel within Europe.
The emerging Cabinet for the new coalition government offers other clues to the progress of liberty over the next parliamentary term.
Some have commented that the appointment of Ken Clarke as Justice Secretary and Lord Chancellor bodes well for the Human Rights Act despite Tory plans to scrap it, as Clarke described this aspect of Tory policy as 'xenophobic and legal nonsense' back in 2006 (source).
Interestingly, the Tory Great Repeal Bill seems to be a groundbreaking example of wikipolitics - unique in the manifestos of the three main parties. The wiki page invites users to submit oppressive or invasive legislation to be considered for repeal, saying:
This experiment in direct democracy allows ordinary citizens to have a direct say in drafting of legislation, which is believed to be the first of its kind.
Campaign groups are already wondering what legislation will be included in the repeal - the Open Rights Group are particularly concerned about the Digital Economy Act, and Big Brother Watch want to see Section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000 rolled back. The latter is listed under the civil deregulation section of the Repeal bill, but the Digital Economy Act is not yet listed on the wiki; perhaps the Open Rights Group are correct to look to the Lib Dems for this.
But it's not all good news. The appointment of Peter Ricketts as National Security Adviser (on Cameron's new National Security Council) is a grave setback.
Ricketts is buried deep in the UK's complicity in torture, and has repeatedly acted in defense of the use of torture, including being involved in the censorship of the recent FOI release on this topic.
There is an admirable libertarian streak running through the Tory party, embodied in Cameron as the representative of the "new Conservatives". But many of their members and MPs are still inclined towards authoritarianism. We should not rest on our laurels yet.
The coalition's response to the banking crisis will be an interesting test of their commitment to liberty throughout their government, not just as an opening crowd-pleaser. Banking reform is prioritised in the new agreement.
It will be interesting to see how Tories reconcile their commitment to citizen liberties with their loyalty to big business. As Thomas Jefferson is often misquoted as saying, banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
The civil liberties section of the new agreement is cause for celebration, but it will be interesting to see how much those libertarian values trickle down into the rest of the coalition's policies.
http://policestate.co.uk/articles/81 |
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Last edited by Fintan on Thu May 13, 2010 1:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fintan
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Joined: 18 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 10:37 am Post subject: |
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Here's the developing
Repeal Bill Online:
| Quote: | The Great Repeal Bill is intended to abolish many restrictive laws and regulations believed to hamper individual freedoms, society, and businesses in the United Kingdom.
Members of the public are able to add to the list of laws and rules to be repealed in the draft of the Bill below. You are also highly encouraged to join the debate about why certain legislation should be included (or excluded) from the Great Repeal Bill.
This experiment in direct democracy allows ordinary citizens to have a direct say in drafting of legislation, which is believed to be the first of its kind.
http://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Great_Repeal_Bill |
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Big Boss
Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 675
Location: Outer Heaven
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow.......I cannot imagine how this will "spill" over into the U.S, being that the U.K is NWO "top-tier", perhaps the U.S's version of the bill (death of the patriot act, etc) could come sooner than I think. I strongly look forward to seeing this kind of legislation around the world. |
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Peter
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 1942
Location: The Canadian shield
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 2:18 pm Post subject: All those in favor say....Die! |
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I always have to "wonder" about the participative aspect of such endeavors. While I am sure that the PTB have a clue about who is running against them, They are always happy to have a "hit-list" handed to them by the individuals themselves.
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MichaelC
Joined: 06 Jul 2006
Posts: 1973
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Fintan - these are quite surprising developments and if they become actualized will be even more amazing. |
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Fintan
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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Well you can absolutely rely on the vast bulk of
these civil liberties measures being made law
exactly as described above.
These issues were/are core principles for the
members of the Liberal Party, and thus their
leadership had to be 100% for or get dumped.
And that Liberal leadership has just sat down and
negotiated an on-the-record program for government
with the Conservatives. This is on that program.
These measures will be voted on and enacted.
Game over!
This is the hard cost of NWO failure.
Driven by the voters.
Who just dumped Labour and their whole Police State PsyOp.
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Robert
Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 323
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| Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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As an englishman in England, unlike you lot ,  I'll believe when I see it, thanks.
And this is the first thing on the agenda...
| Quote: |
Europe's fiscal Fascism brings British withdrawal ever closer
Just when you thought the EU could not go any further down the road towards authoritarian excess, it gets worse.
The European Commission is calling for EU powers to vet budgets of the 27 member states before the draft laws have been presented to the House of Commons, the Tweede Kamer, the Folketing, the Bundestag, the Assemblee nationale, or other national parliaments. It applies to Britain even though we are not in EMU.
Fonctionnaires and EU finance ministers will pass judgement on the British (or Dutch, or Danish, or French) budgets before the elected bodies of these ancient and sovereign nations have seen the proposals. Did we not we not fight the English Civil War and kill a king over such a prerogative?
Yet again we are discovering the trick played on our democracies by Europe’s insiders when they charged ahead with EMU, brushing aside warnings by their own staff economists that monetary union was unworkable without fiscal union. Jacques Delors knew perfectly well that this would lead inevitably to a crisis, but it would be the “beneficial crisis” that would force sovereign parliaments to submit to demands that they would never otherwise accept.
This is now playing out before our eyes. Club Med governments have built up €7 trillion sovereign debt under the cover of monetary union, which shut down the warning signals for borrowers and creditors alike. We are now near – or beyond – the point of no return. Eurozone states must go along with this cynical entrapment, or risk economic catastrophe. The conspirators have succeeded. The €750bn shock and awe package agreed over the weekend clearly alters the character of the European Project, crossing the line towards an EU debt union and an EU Treasury. How long will it be now before the EU acquires direct tax-raising powers?
As French president Nicolas Sarkozy said: “We have a veritable economic government”. I hope the excellent and proud French people realize what this means before it is too late, as it is for the Greek, Irish, Portuguese, and Spanish peoples. They are being forced by the logic of the economic machine to squeeze fiscal policy at a time when they are either recession or trapped in a deeper perma-slump without offsetting stimulus. A Deutsche Bank note to clients said these countries have given up all three instruments of economic control: fiscal, monetary, and exchange. They are powerless. We are under an “EU protectorate”, said Spain’s opposition leader Mariano Rajoy last week, though it was empty, useless rhetoric since he does not draw any of the necessary conclusions from this intolerable state of affairs.
In Brussels, Mr Barroso wants EU powers to monitor current account deficits and credit growth – under pain of sanctions – in order to stop booms running out of control. “We must get to the root of the problems,” he said.
Notice how one-sided this is. The entire adjustment burden falls on the people of the Club Med states – including his own nation, Portugal – though they are already trapped in debt-deflation. There is no recognition that the EMU system itself is fundamentally dysfunctional because the euro was painted on a cultural canopy that cannot possibly be deemed an “optimal currency area”, nor that these countries have been grossly violated by the entirely predictable – and predicted – perversions of EMU.
There is no hint that intrusive EU surveillance powers should be used to compel Germany to increase spending and tolerate higher inflation so that the EU’s North-South divide can be bridged by the both camps meeting each other half way. All responses are tilted in one direction: deflation, fiscal austerity. This is the Gold Bloc fallacy of Continental Europe from 1931 to 1936, the policy that led to Bruning’s destruction of Weimar, Laval’s near destruction of the Third Republic in France with his deflation decrees. It was a precursor to Laval’s fateful role as the Nazi enforcer of Vichy. He was later executed by firing squad, vomitting from a botched suicide with cynanide.
The reactionary character of the EU system is astonishing to behold. Mr Barroso – a Maoist student protester on the revolutionary barricades, turned Thatcherite, turned … what exactly – a Salazar, a son insu? – is becoming a serious danger to civil society and the survival of European democracy. Señor Barroso, a decent man, needs to step back and ask himself what on earth is going to be achieved by imposing a deflation death spiral on a large swathe of Europe.
Nor is there any recognition at all that the European Central Bank was itself partly responsible for the crisis that has now engulfed the South. We all forget that the ECB ran a persistently loose monetary policy during the bubble – Greenspan Lite, let us call it – and an overly tight policy after the bubble burst. A double whammy for the GIPS.
It missed its own inflation target every year, and by the end it was tolerating an 11pc growth rate in the M3 money supply (against a target of 4.5pc, but by then it had abandoned its Bundesbank tradition of monetarism). This was pouring petrol on the property fires of Ireland and Spain.
The ECB has since let M3 contract, doing its own part to ensure a replay of 1931, at least until Europe’s politicians read the riot act on Friday and forced it to buy Greek, Portuguse, Irish, and Spanish bonds, albeit sterilized and injecting no net stimulus into the euroland system. This resassertion of political primacy is entirely appropriate. The idea that central banks should not be accountable to democracy is monstrous and untenable. Besides, they had their chance.
They showed themselves unfit for independence. Their doctrines were found to be pseudo-science.
Why did the ECB pursue policies that were so destructive for the GIPS? Because it was helping to nurse Germany through its long post-reunification slump in Phase I, and then bowed to Germany’s phobia of non-existent inflation in Phase II from 2008 onwards. ECB policy was twisted from the start to help one (mentally unhinged?) country. Let us at least be honest about this.
I do not envy David Cameron and George Osborne as they navigate these lethal waters. As Bruno Waterfield reports from Brussels, they will face their first clash next week when the new Chancellor is presented with the Barroso proposals, that is to say proposals for a reversal of the English Civil War and the re-establishment of Stuart monarchical absolutism.
The truth is that no British government can ever put Europe on the back-burner and hope it goes away. It hits you in the face, again, and again, and again. This is why so many British ministers end up feeling a visceral hatred for the project.
In my view, the EU elites overstepped the line by ignoring the rejection of the European Constitution by French and Dutch voters, then pushing it through under the guise of the Lisbon Treaty without a popular vote, except in Ireland, and when Ireland voted ‘No’, to ignore that too. The enterprise has become illegitimate – iis starting to exhibit the reflexes of tyranny.
The moment of definition is fast arriving from Britain. The measures now being demanded to save monetary union cannot and will not be accepted by this Government, Nick Clegg not withstanding. The most eurosceptic people I have ever met are those who have actually worked for the European Commission, though it takes a while – and liberation from Brussels – for these views to ferment.
The outcome – une véritable gouvernement économique – will put Britain and the eurozone on such separate courses that it will amount to separation in all but name. The sooner we get the nastiness of divorce behind us, the better. |
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/finance/ambroseevans-pritchard/100005678/europes-fiscal-fascism-brings-british-withdrawal-ever-closer/ |
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Fintan
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| Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 8:32 am Post subject: |
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Yeah I really had to laugh at the European Commission calling
for fiscal responsibility from member states and telling them
they would be marking their budgetary homework.
This is the same European establishment which:
| Quote: | ....missed its own inflation target every year, and by the end
it was tolerating an 11pc growth rate in the M3 money supply
(against a target of 4.5pc) |
That was their covert economic policy at work.
One designed to facilitate the expansion of the NWO and
aimed at sealing a corporate-friendly WTO trade deal.
So the EU is as much to blame as the profligate member states.
But before getting carried away by the current hysteria, bear in mind
that there is an ongoing propaganda campaign running in mainstream
Western media to paint the EU as the weakest link.
This is pure economic warfare married to
opportunist cartel financial profiteering.
I'd take Ambrose Evans-Pritchard to task for this comment:
| Quote: | ...what on earth is going to be achieved by imposing
a deflation death spiral on a large swathe of Europe. |
That's only half right.
A ten year deflation spiral would indeed by a stupid policy.
We need a ten WEEK deflation spiral!!
Let the damn NWO paper financial mountain implode.
It's an albatross around our necks in the USA and EU.
Let the Gov.'s take over retail banking and sell it off.
All this hoopla is about defending the NWO's virtual Empire of Debt/Control.
With that NWO debt off our backs the USA and EU would rebound.
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dragonfly
Joined: 02 Feb 2007
Posts: 13
Location: Driftwood, Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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Howdy Fintan - love to hear you interview FOFOA one of these days. If you're hip to the Gold Trail Archives over at USAGold.com and the THOUGHTS of ANOTHER and his apprentice FOA (Friend of Another) you know that maybe the BIS has another iteration of the NWO up its sleeve - ready for deployment at a moments notice.
Friend of Friend of Another (aka FOFOA) has done a nice job of blogging the story line and defending the inevitability of Free Gold coming to the rescue under the wise guidance of the BIS. I've taken both sides of this thing over the years and lately I'm of the opinion that this would not necessarily be a good thing. I don't view the BIS as benign and can't reconcile what I understand about the world and the supposed antagonism between the BIS and the IMF which is at the heart of the Free Gold narrative.
That said, there sure is a steady drumbeat of all things gold that is setting the tone of the future from bank reserves to nationalization of mines to some nations encouraging citizen ownership to all kinds of head-fakes and pseudo-revelatory claims (see Puplava's moderation of the GATA vs CPM debate over at Financialsense.com - I think he's doing it tonight)
Don't know if you have checked out this Free Gold angle or if you have time to consider it but you might find it interesting in light of the serious things going on in Europe and elsewhere regarding unpayable debt. You could probably get totally up to speed in an evenings reading at his blog. It's actually easier than plowing through the USAGold Archives since FOFOA has really streamlined the essentials of years of posts by Another and FOA. If anybody could get to the bottom of this story I think you could. The link is http://fofoa.blogspot.com/
Still love checking in over here even though I'm not inclined to post much as you can see. Not much to say these days. Keep up the good work, you always get me thinking, especially with your astute observations of how the NWO crowd is increasingly taking it on the chin.
Adios amigo, dragonfly
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Fintan
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| Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks dragonfly for the heads-up on FOFOA.
Nice to see that they have their eye on the BIS
and the closely associated Group of Thirty....
I mentioned the G30 in a link to a financial audio
earlier this year. It's worth repeating that link:
http://group30.org/members.htm
Just check out the members at the link above.
For more background on the G30 try the link
below and scroll down to this heading:
The G30: World Government in Practice
http://www.capital-flow-analysis.com/investment-essays/globalization.html
| Quote: | dragonfly:
I don't view the BIS as benign and can't reconcile what I understand about the world and the supposed antagonism between the BIS and the IMF which is at the heart of the Free Gold narrative. |
Yeah, I've considered the Gold angle as a scorpion sting in the event
of a fiat meltdown. A gold surge would benefit countries with lots of it to
back their existing (or future) currencies. That would sure leave the
Chinese pretty cheesed-off, considering they don't have the yellow stuff
in the vault like EU and US and others do.
(Though, in fact the US has less gold per head than many others)
Certainly, back-channel gold sales at real pricing is possible.
See also this article (h/t via Hawkwind)
| Quote: | ....In a news release dated April 27, the International Monetary Fund and the Swiss National Bank announced they would be co-hosting a meeting to try to resolve the global financial crisis. Most such meetings are scheduled at least a year in advance, but this one took place on May 11 – a major sign of desperation over the crises.
At the conclusion of this one-day meeting, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the managing director of the IMF, stated that he was optimistic that the bailout plans for the Greek government, which were announced in the three days before the meeting, would be sufficient to allay public fears. If you read between the lines, what he really said was that no progress was made at the meeting to resolve any issues. In other words, the meeting failed....
http://numismaster.com/ta/numis/Article.jsp?ad=article&ArticleId=10634 |
That Bill Murphy V. Jeff Christian Gold Market Rigging Debate is here:
http://www.financialsensenewshour.com/broadcast/fsn2010-0515-2.mp3
I will follow up on your interview suggestion. Thanks.
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Fintan
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Joined: 18 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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More on those UK moves by the new Conservative government
to dismantle the NWO Police State and the overarching reach of
Government in our lives.
Now this is indeed political expediency, related to oncoming economic
difficulties and designed to be an establishment fallback position. It's
also a recognition of public opposition and a pragmatic move.
Sure there is a lot more required than these measures, but whatever
the motivation, this new policy train is leaving the station.
| Quote: | 
Nick Clegg:
tell us the laws that you want scrapped
By Andrew Porter, Political Editor
Published: 11:59PM BST 18 May 2010
The most radical redistribution of power from the state to the people for 200 years is to be made by the new coalition Government, Nick Clegg is to claim.
The public will be asked what laws they want ripped up, in far-reaching reforms designed to put back “faith in politics”, the Deputy Prime Minister will say.
The reordering of power will sweep away Labour legislation and new criminal offences deemed to have eroded personal freedom.
It will involve the end of the controversial ID cards scheme, the scrapping of universal DNA databases – in which the records of thousands of innocent people have been stored – and restrictions placed on internet records. The use of CCTV cameras will also be reviewed.
Dubbed the “Great Reform Act”, the measures will close down the ContactPoint children’s database. Set up by Labour last year, it includes detailed information on all 11 million youngsters under 18.
In addition, schools will not be able to take a child’s fingerprint without parental permission.
In an attempt to protect freedom of speech, ministers will review libel laws, while limits on peaceful protest will be removed.
Mr Clegg said the Government wanted to establish “a fundamental resettlement of the relationship between state and citizen that puts you in charge”.
In a speech in London he will say: “This Government is going to transform our politics so the state has far less control over you, and you have far more control over the state. This Government is going to break up concentrations of power and hand power back to people, because that is how we build a society that is fair.”
He will describe the plans as “the biggest shake-up of our democracy since 1832, when the Great Reform Act redrew the boundaries of British democracy, for the first time extending the franchise beyond the landed classes”.
Mr Clegg has been the most vocal of the three main party leaders arguing for political reform since The Daily Telegraph exposed the expenses scandal a year ago.
Today, he can put in train the measures which, he claims, will deliver “a power revolution”.
He will say that reform will not simply mean “a few new rules for MPs [or] the odd gesture or gimmick to make you feel a bit more involved”.
Mr Clegg will announce that he wants to hear about which laws should be scrapped to roll back the state encroachment into people’s lives.
“As we tear through the statute book, we’ll do something no government ever has: We will ask you which laws you think should go.
“Because thousands of criminal offences were created under the previous government. Taking people’s freedom away didn’t make our streets safe.
“Obsessive law-making simply makes criminals out of ordinary people. So, we’ll get rid of the unnecessary laws – and once they’re gone, they won’t come back.
“We will introduce a mechanism to block pointless new criminal offences.”
The measures to repeal so-called surveillance state laws will be included in next week’s Queen’s Speech.
Under the coalition agreement, Mr Clegg and David Cameron said they would end “the storage of internet and email regulations and email records without good reason”.
This is likely to mean the end of plans for the Government and the security services to intercept and keep emails and text messages.
The £224 million ContactPoint database can be accessed by 300,000 people working in health, education, social care and youth justice – leading to fears it could be exploited or fall into the wrong hands.
Mr Clegg will add: “It is outrageous that decent, law-abiding people are regularly treated as if they have something to hide. It has to stop.
“This will be a government that is proud when British citizens stand up against illegitimate advances of the state. That values debate, that is unafraid of dissent.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/laws-that-you-want-scrapped.html |
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Fintan
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| Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | UK To Scrap National ID Cards In Days
by Fintan Dunne, BreakFornews.com - 22rd May, 2010
The new Conservative/Liberal alliance Government in the
United Kingdom is to introduce a Bill to parliament within days
which will abolish Labour Party plans for a National Id card
scheme.
According to a draft of the Queen’s Speech, seen by the UK
Daily Telegraph, the new Government programme of at least
21 Bills will kick off by introducing key school reforms and
scrapping the ID card plan.
The text of the Queen’s Speech details reforms that will
“restore trust in democratic institutions and rebalance the
relationship between the citizen and the state”, while
“legislation will be brought forward to restore freedoms
and civil liberties”.
Another Bill set for the autumn will ensure that “in future this
parliament and the British people have their say on any
proposed transfer of powers to the European Union”.
The measures are part of a Government policy to also scrap
universal DNA databases; reverse plans to indefinitely store
internet records; review the use of CCTV cameras; and bolster
the right to free speech and peaceful protest. |
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howg
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 63
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| Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/07/13/lord-mandelson-launches-his-own-perfume/
Lord Mandelson launches his own perfume
Mandy Pour Homme is a fruity, playful and charismatic perfume,’ said the former Business Secretary, ‘it is effortlessly seductive, infused with hyacinth, jasmine and cedar with just the delicate hint of duplicity and double dealing.’
Speaking at the launch of his new fragrance, Lord Mandelson said: ‘I like to think that this perfume captures the very essence of New Labour. You are initially hit with a glorious burst of anticipation, hope and excitement, closely followed by the foetid afterwhiff of corruption, deceit and betrayal.’
Mandy is being marketed as ‘a perfume for the modern man about town – in a Cabinet meeting, at the Newsnight studio, on a billionaire’s yacht – a thrusting presence in the corridors of power, jauntily cocking his leg and leaving his scent wherever he goes.’
The fragrance, produced in conjunction with Lord Mandelson’s in-house perfumer Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, is notable for the strong emotional effect it produces upon all those who smell it. Journalists described the scene at the end of the press launch when Lord Mandelson stood, dabbed a little of the perfume upon his silken handkerchief and waved it about, releasing the fragrance into the air.
‘It was amazing,’ said one normally hate-fuelled hack, ‘as soon as we caught a whiff of Mandy we were immediately struck by an uncontrollable feeling of love – it was an emotion so strong that we all felt irresistibly compelled to forgive Peter for all his indiscretions and hold him aloft as the High Prince of purity and innocence. At last I can finally understand how he managed to stay in power for so long.’
Lord Mandelson’s perfume is launched just a few months ahead of the release of Tony Blair’s new fragrance, produced in conjunction with Calvin Klein. Tony Blair’s ‘Self-Obsession’ is believed by many to be so rich, even the faintest whiff of it can induce nausea, headache and vomiting.
‘I really don’t feel that Peter is trying to steal my thunder by releasing his own stench of malignant narcissism before mine,’ said Mr Blair, ‘but enough about him, let’s talk about me.’
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atm
Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 3194
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:33 am Post subject: |
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H
couldn't that bottle of eau de toilette be better labelled? For instance:
PANSY
WEALTHY HOMO
atm 
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howg
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 4:31 am Post subject: |
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| atm wrote: | H
couldn't that bottle of eau de toilette be better labelled? For instance:
PANSY
WEALTHY HOMO
atm |
I guess it's all in the spelling!
| Quote: |
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Pansies
Pansie
A Pansie is a sexually confused male flower; despite the existence of their stamen, they believe that they would look prettier and smell sweeter, especially to other male flowers, if they had pistils. Some become transsexuals, having their stamen surgically altered to resemble pistils. However, they seldom fool anything other than their fellow pansies and an occasional bumbling bee, or bumblebee.
Description
Most pansies are highly cultivated and show a special affinity for the arts. Many become fine gardeners. Sexually, pansies are known for their versatility, describing themselves in gardening catalogues as enjoying sexual activities, including self-pollination, that range from "mild to wild." A petunia is rumored to have said, "Once you've tried a pansy, you'll never go back."
Life Cycle
Pansies pride themselves on their colorful appearance, taking the rainbow flag as their banner. Despite their delicate appearance and sensitive natures, pansies are relatively hardy plants and enjoy a sunny, if not tropical, clime. Many pansies are bisexual, or biennial, having a two-year life cycle. During the first year, they cruise the garden, seeking the mates with whom they cross dress and pollinate during the next year. After broadcasting their seed, or semen, always on infertile ground, alas, they die.
Cultivation
Pansies like to be planted deep in bottom land, and they do well in gardens that are enriched with manure. Under ideal conditions, pansies are apt to be exclusively homosexual, or perennial, rather than bisexual. In this state, they tend to be leggy. Pansies are known to seed and reseed themselves frequently. Landscapers recommend that pansies be watered weekly and stroked often.
Tops and Bottoms
Pansies have a top petal and a bottom petal with a slight indentation, often preferring one over the other unless they are among the more versatile of their kind, and most pansies have beards. Pansies, although hardier than their appearance would indicate, can become sluggish during sex, and their stamens may shrivel prematurely, but respond well to Viagra and Benomyl fungicide prior to penetration, or planting.
Etymology
The pansy got its name from the French word pensee, meaning penis, because of its resemblance to a human face nodding at fellatio. Homosexuals use the pansy as their emblem, and it is especially popular as an embroidery motif, appearing frequently on lavender and pink handkerchiefs.
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| Quote: | http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Homo
Homo
Homogenized milk is known as homo in Britain and Wales, where they commonly smoke fags as opposed to cigarettes. In California, USA, however, homo is slang in for humongous, except in the San Francisco bay area where it is slang for Englebert Humperdink. And in the slums of Salacgrīva homo is a plate of pasta topped with fried sheep brains, seasoned with black pepper, nutmeg, cocaine, and strychnine...
...Yes, the meanings of words flutter like veritable butterflies above the wanton fields of mere facticity. Like an evanescent and execrable Monarch or a Painted Lady words flap hither and yon over the sparkling wens scattered with the daisies and buttercups of verifiable fact. As Shakespeare wrote
Tho' words like mayflies rise and swive
Plain homo facts have nought to fear;
If I get through this verse alive
I think I'll go and have a queer... er... I mean beer.
--Pud's Labour At Midsummers, Act IIIVI
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